my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize