I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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