Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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