Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
