Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
