Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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