Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
