He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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