I must be too annoying 4 u.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
