She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
