Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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