Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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