i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
