does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
