shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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