His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
