I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
