Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well I just put wine in my tea
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
