Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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