I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize