I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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