I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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