She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
