whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
