You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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