who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
