if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
