Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
