we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
