: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
