I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am mentally ready for anal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
