I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
