My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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