He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize