my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
