Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
