scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
either way he was missing a nipple.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
