that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
