Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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