Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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