is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
