I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I will pee on everything he values.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize