I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
