Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
