respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
