You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
