Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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