His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
