dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
