Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
where are you?
Hypothermia
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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