So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
