I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
