but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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