I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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