youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
