Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
