I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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