I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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