Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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