Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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