Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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