**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
birth control should be required to get into college
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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