How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he quoted the bible to break up with me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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