So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
