apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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