sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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