life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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