Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
