I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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