She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
